FRIDAY (MGM) Needed a bite to eat before what I hoped to be a long afternoon of 2/4 action (my first live action!) at the MGM, so I grabbed a burger – but I decided in haste to wash it down with a couple 151 Planters Punches. It wasn't even noon yet. I couldn’t help myself; it’s Vegas and I was excited, overzealous to get it on with what I figured to be a table full of fish – and they were, but so was I.

The room was immaculate. As stated by others here, it’s a snake-shaped little slice of poker heaven and I told myself I might have to return. First impression: good. The only annoyance was the loud speaker system where they announce when there’s an available seat at a table for players on the waiting list; the guy’s voice echoes and makes this feel less like a poker room and more like a bingo room.

The management was a joke. After a short wait, I got my rack of chips (100 bucks) and they pointed me to the 2/4 table. I sit down to find that everyone’s looking at me a little funny, even the dealer. I think to myself, “I have a nice buzz going, but damn, do I really have the look and smell of fresh fish?” I exchange pleasantries and one fine gentleman looks at my rack of 100 $1 chips and asks me if I know I’m at the 10/20. I laughed it off. Thanks MGM management – you’re the best.

The competition at the 2/4 (when I finally got there) made me want to laugh and cry. Only one of the players earned my respect for the session; he did so in the first five or ten minutes as I rode my QJ off-suite to the river with nothing more than a queen on the flop and no possible straight or flush draws, only for him to show down pocket kings. I’m pretty sure that hand put me on tilt for the first time in my young poker life, as the rest of the next two hours I took only two or three small pots, and watched my stack dwindle down to nothing while mediocre players played the most ludicrous of starting hands (7-3, etc.) only to steal good sized pots when a 3 falls on the turn and then a lucky 7 on the river. Yep, at that point I would just chuckle (silently) and order another Corona. It was my first session, so I was just happy to get the experience under my belt. If you’re a seasoned player you can make a killing in this room if you don’t mind the noise and you have the patience to wait for only premium hands.

The dealers, criticized by others here, were fair in my opinion, as I didn’t have other experiences to judge by, and they didn’t make any major mistakes.

The cocktails came quickly and in abundance.

Management, aside from the embarrassing faux pas stated above, deserve some credit as they apologized and correctly pointed me to my 2/4 table. There didn’t seem to be any computer problems as others have stated. Perhaps the kinks are being worked out.

SATURDAY (MONTE CARLO) Armed with the exasperating experience at the MGM the previous day, and a not-so-bad hangover considering I was drinking for thirteen straight hours on Friday, I set out to my second official session, this time at the Monte Carlo.

The room was small but elegant – a sharp contrast to the high-tech MGM room, this one felt more like the Friars Club and more my style.

The floor manager quickly greeted me and asked what I wanted to play; I told him 2/4; he told me to wait one minute as he had to take care of something. Five quick minutes later he took my hundred dollar bill, grabbed a rack and personally ushered me to a table that was already 9 deep and seemed to have been going for awhile. A woman two seats to my left was very chatty with the gentleman to her left (some gregarious familiar face actor that I can’t remember the name of); meanwhile on the opposite side of the table there were three or four rocks, all on the sunnier side of sixty and locals. There was an interesting tension between the two ends of the table that I found amusing and settled my nerves. I drank water. I mucked almost everything for twenty minutes. I observed. I watched the woman and man raise and re-raise each other in a flirtatious yet highly intelligent way – their chemistry was luring in the jealous action of the rocks and they were trading pots left and right. The rocks took some here and there, but this young couple owned it. The competition at this table was real, as opposed to the MGM. When I started to finally get some playable hands, I’d limp in (still angry from the previous day) and let the feisty couple do my betting for me. I won a few pots this way, but also lost a few show downs with the actor guy. But everyone knew what they were doing at this table, and even for a neophyte this was a much more enjoyable and educational experience than the MGM. My session lasted three hours and I lost most of my chips when the guard shifted to a set of more MGM-like characters: catching cards instead of playing them. Next time I see this shift in a table, I’m getting out. Lesson learned.

Cocktail service was adequate, nothing spectacular. Management excellent. Dealers were great – some of which I learned play a lot in town – all of them managed the table with efficiency and professionalism. This is the first room I will play when I return, and I highly recommend to experienced players and any serious but not-so experienced players like myself.