8 days in Vegas - Cold Deck Wednesday

Reports & Blogs by vookenmeister Posted

The fourth in a handful of trip reports I am going to post. This one is going to cover Wednesday.

Our hero's stats for the trip: +$1741 poker, +$25 other bets (1 match play, 1 horse bet)

Ok... another night with marginal sleep as I get up at 7am to shower and head over to the work conference. There are sessions going on all day so I plan on spending most of the day tied up at the conference. Normally, I would be bummed, but upon retrospect it is probably a good thing I don't make it to the poker tables till 5pm. My wife, Patsy, is flying into town tomorrow afternoon. I won't get all sappy about it, but I really am looking forward to seeing her. The bad side is tonight will be my last chance to visit a strip bar or even better indulge in my four way fantasy of two chicks, a midget and a duck... I'll leave the rest up to your imagination. My initial plan is to play Excalibur for a little bit then head over to Planet Hollywood for the 7pm tourney I have been crushing... then on the way home I just need to find willing players for my fantasy. As you can tell I score chicks really easily. I already know where a midget is. I just need to find a duck!

I sit down at the Excalibur $.50/$1 and square off against some familiar faces. If you recall, I have made a committment that I will treat 7-2 like they are AAs every time I receive them. I recognize one of the players at the table. He is the stereotypical aggressive Asian guy. He likes to chatter a lot. I find it much more to fun to hear at banter at the table. Anyways, I am wondering if the old 7-2 is a bad idea. Asian Guy plays a solid loose, aggressive game. The kind of guy who scores lots of chicks (I should know as I am famous, of course). Anyways, I am getting off the point. I fold 10 or so hands with junk. I then pick up the old magical 7-2. I bet and everyone folds. I show it of course and rake in the huge $1.50 cent pot (minus commission).

A couple hands later I get dealt 7-2 again. Asian Guy bets $3 in middle position. I re-raise it to $10 under the button. Everybody folds including Asian Guy. I show 7-2 again. He erupts and playfully shouts, "Try that shit again!" I am now praying for a big hand. I am also praying that I DO NOT get 7-2. Several hands go by and then it happens, I get dealt 7-2. In my mind, this is bad news, but I have made a committment.

Well, I am under the gun with fake AAs. I decide to play it tricky and limp (wouldn't you?). 5 other people limp. Terrible play with AAs. The flop comes 9-8-3 two hearts. I decide this is a bad place to bet with AAs and check. Somebody bets $3, another person raises all in. What do you do with AAs here on a 9-8-3 flop? This is a very tough decision. Fortunately, I don't really have AAs so I lay it down. (I apologize to those who thought I would call here. I know I am crazy, but I am not insane).

20 more hands go by and I am still getting junk. I can't pick up anything. I get dealt 8-5 in the big blind and complete the .50 cent blind. 3 players top the flop which comes 742 all clubs. Everybody checks. Next card is 4 of spades. I check. Big blinds bet $3 into $3 pot. Other player folds. I decide to show everybody how crappy my hand is and click on display all when I fold. Cards pop up on screen. 8-4. Oops!!! What a jackass. Big blind flashes me his junk hand.

The deck is out to get me today. I dodge it twice by folding K-Q against tight tight players. First time, a player gets all in and gets called by someone else with KQ. KQ loses. 2nd time the flop comes Q-Q-J after I fold KQ on the button to a bet and a raise. I hate myself. Anyways, both players get all in and the first player shows Q-J. Wow. Good thing I folded. Apparently, I have a target on my back today. Anyways, 10 hands or so later and I am up a whopping $5 and decide to cash out and head over to the 7pm Planet Hollywood tourney.

While walking to Planet Hollywood, I pass a midget panhandling outside of MGM. I smile and wink at him. He winks back with a wry smile. He knows what's coming. I keep walking to Planet Hollywood with my eyes peeled for a duck. I want to make sure the duck is easy to locate before I need it. I'm not worried about the two chicks because as we all know I am the man. I am breaking this town! I am a force...especially at the mighty $.50/$1 Excalibur tables. It might be time for me to step up and play against some tougher competition at one of the nicer rooms like Caesars or Venetian. I Keep walking past MGM. The game there is so easy it is not a challlenge. I want to sidle up against tougher competition.

I buy in for the $80 Planet Hollywood tourney. Those of you with short term memories might not recall that I finished 1st place the night before and 2nd place the other time I played. For those with really short term memories, I finished 1st place the night before and 2nd place the other time I played (sorry felt so good to write that twice).

I get seated in Seat 3. A player from last night asks how I did in the tourney the previous night. I cooly reply, "it was a good night. I got lucky at the end and finished in 1st place." I don't really mean this. I didn't get lucky. I am the man. Like most poker players I have already forgotten that I sucked out with a dominated hand to win the tourney. What really happened was I outplayed my opponent because I knew the J was coming. I really am that good. The tourney has started without me. No I don't mean I missed it. What I mean is I sit and fold scores of hands with nothing. We hit level 3 and have less than the beginning stack. A couple players limp and I decide to shove with my quality hand. 2 players also go all in. Wow! There must be some huge hands here. I might be behind. Player 1 shows Q-Q. Not bad. Player 2 shows A-j. ok. Player 3, after seeing the A-j, shouts out "Yes!". What could he have??? K-K??? A-K??? Nope, this donkey shows 9-7 off suit. What an idiot! Oh wait, I am player 3. Anyways, I get busted out and head over to the $1/$2 cash game.

I have now been dealt about 60 hands today and the best thing I've seen was two K-Qs that were setup to fail. It could be one of those nights. I buyin for $300. Deck is still cold. I get a few good hands, but no flop success. I win some continuation bets here and there but mostly bleed off chips. I trickle down to about $200 when an interesting hand unfolds. A lady sitting UTG raises to $7. She's been playing pretty tight. I look down at two Qs on the button. She has about $110 in her stack. I decide to raise to $20 total. I want to take over the action with what stands to be the best hand. She sincerely thinks for a little while and then shoves in her remaining $90. I decide she must have KKs, AAs or A-K. I fold and show my Qs. She obliges and shows her KKs. Great laydown. The deck is stacked against me. Wait, there's a problem. Seat 10 rabbit hunts the flop for me and flips over 3 cards. I didn't ask to see it!!! Anyways, a Q is shown. Ugh!

Many hands later I have swiftly parlayed my $300 buy in down to about $130. I actually have $230 as I had to pull out another $100 to keep my stack healthy. I gotta get a hand at some point. Two people limp so I raise to $13 in the cutoff with AAs. Small blind reraises me to $30. I have played against small blind before and know him as someone who overvalues his hands. He has about $100 left in his stack. I decide to smooth call ready to play the pot for the remaining $100 no matter what. Pot is now $50. Flop comes three dry cards. 8-5-3. I check and give him the rope to hang himself. He shoves in his $100 and I call. He shows QQs and my AAs hold up. I fold about 30 more hands and decide to go out in search of a duck. It's early in the morning and time is running out for my fantasy. I cash in my chips for an $80 loss and head out.

I pass another midget. He is dressed like a leprechaun and shouting into a microphone. I wink and stick my tongue out at him seductively. He glares back at me. Apparently, he is not interested. I guess it is because he is actually the MC at O'Sheas so he can't leave his post to indulge in my fantasy. Oh well, I still have that fallback midget at the MGM.

I walk by the Flamingo.. I start to wonder. What's the difference between a duck and a flamingo? Will it work? I'm not sure. I know the age old question to "What's the difference between a duck?" That's simple. "Because one leg is both the same."

Anyways, I am getting closer to Imperial Palace and time is running out in my search for a duck. Meanwhile, along the way, 13 different sets of identical barbie twins ask me where I am from. I calmy reply, "Virgina... and ask them if they know where to find a duck." No luck.

I need to get some sleep so I will post the rest later...

Day 4 Stats:
+$5 Excalibur cash game (1 hour)
-$80 Planet Hollywood tourney (got caught shoving)
-$80 Planet Hollywood cash game

Overall Stats for the day: -$155 poker, no other bets
Overall Stats for the trip: +$1586 poker, +$25 other bets

Next up. Do I find a duck? Plus, Terrible Thursday... I make what perhaps could be the greatest laydown in history or it could be the worst laydown in history. You will have to decide for yourself.

Last Edited:


  1. @vookenmeister

    OK ... I have to admit that this made me laugh.

  2. Great trip reports Vook! I'm enjoying them very much.

    Just a little bit of advice for you. That fantasy of yours isn't all it's cracked up to be... In my experience it's best to have that duck fried crispy in a spicy panang sauce and delivered to you by the midget after you take care of business with the other participants. :grin:


    Best Regards,


  3. Very funny. Another great post. For the record that would be a fivesome, unless you just plan on watching and I have seen that when when Howard the duck was in...not as good as you might think.

  4. @RG_4XM

    gonna be hard to beat your punch line... thx a lot :grin:

  5. @vookenmeister

    I think your bird to midget ratio (3:1) is a bit high. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Best post yet!! Can't wait for the next installment. Hopefully it doesn't include a video link ....

  6. Priceless. Sorry to hear about your bad turn of luck with the midget, and your cold deck.

    Keep em coming. We all love your comedy.

  7. I know where you can get a duck...about an hours drive from Vegas. Oh...you said DUCK! Never mind!