I left my liver in Las Vegas

Reports & Blogs by minton about Caesars Palace, Venetian Casino Posted

Originally titled

“Why leave your heart in San Francisco when you can leave your liver in Las Vegas: Minton’s Misadventures during the weekend of AVP VI†but that is a long ass title.


I will warn you this is going to be a long long trip report 5 pages worth, written to the best of my knowledge. There is some poker, but not a whole lot since this ended up being more of a social trip than one for non-stop poker.

The stories you are about to read are true; the names have been changed to protect the Inebriated.

I will apologize now there are large gaps of time that are quite fuzzy and some events that I am not 100% sure when they happened and who exactly was there. Once all the pics are posted I will insert them where I can to add to the story later. While I am dishing out the apologies I might need to also inform everyone that I am horrible with names, so remembering screennames isn’t enough you might get the wrong name credited; and you might be listed as an attendee of something you never were at.

These are the accounts of June 12-15th from the mind of Minton….read on at your own risk.

Thursday June 12 2008- Alaska gal’s Cash, In N Out, P-HO, and I am a Viedo Poker God

My flight left IAH about 40 minutes late. 2/3s of the people on my flight were under the age of 21, the Houston gymnastics all star team was headed out for a some competition. The superb choice for the in flight movies was Fools Gold, I elected to not buy the head phones….or Matthew McCounaghey’s acting ability. Had to drink 4 beers since Flight Attendant couldn’t break a $20…oh well.

Flight finally lands in Vegas, and I head for the taxi stand. It takes about 10 minutes to walk through the queue for the line, and only about 1 minute to get a cab….I would hate to see that line when it’s packed. Hopped in a cab, and headed to the IP, good ride, no traffic, no tunnel, and a driver named Max Henderson (a great Vegas sounding name).

I got to the IP at 2:00, and headed to check in, I was 2nd in line when Cheese came up and said howdy. I elected not to try the $20 trick since I was already in a deluxe and I didn’t mind a room over the Carnival Court (I was never in bed before it closed so it was no big deal).

After checking in I met Cheese, Karapet, and 24fanatics and we headed over to sweat Alaska Gal at the final table of Caesar’s Mega Stack Event 13. She took 2nd place for a huge cash….congrats Alaska Gal!!! While sweating I played some viedo poker and hit quads twice, and met-up with fellow AVPer Santa. Headed off to grind in the IP room for a while before we went to dinner.

Alaska Gal sprang for a Limo that took us to In N Out and then P-HO. In N Out was great, I had a 3x3 with well done fries….yummy!!! We then hopped in the limo and headed to Blondies in the Miracle Mile Shops for some Beer Pong. I bought a huge pitcher of beer, and 24fanatics and I attempted to teach Alaska Gal and her friend Bobby how to play beer pong, we were winning until Boofer and Cheese took over and rallied the girls team back to victory.

We then headed back to P-HO to play some poker and Pai Gow, as well as a few drinks and some karaoke. The karoke was in a little theater, and I did my standard (Devil Went Down to Georgia) as well as sang the Dan Band’s remix of Total Eclipse of The Heart while Alaska Gal sang the Original. I also hit quads #3 at the bar in the karaoke area and then headed over to Pai Gow. I got slaughtered, Sabs and Santa tore the table apart and started the P-HO Black Chip Club.

The rest of the details were fuzzy I think we headed towards the V since Sabs was parked there, and then had a Pit Stop at Casino Royale for some $1 bottles and some $3 craps. 2 Guys at my table were betting heavily on the Don’t Pass while they both shot for about a half hour each and hit a ton of points.

Headed Back to IP with the intent to play poker, but I was too hammered to sit at a table, and there was an incident with my shirt being “offensive†so I played some tables until security politely told me that I had to either take off the shirt or leave, I opted to go to bed around 6:00am, I had been up for 24 hours straight and still, and was close to even since after food and booze and gambling.

Friday June 13th- Downtown, IP, Meet-up Dinner, P-HO and More

I had my alarm set with the intention of waking up early for the AA/KK cracked but elected to get my whopping 3.5 hours of sleep instead (sorry I missed ya in the morning santa). Got up and headed over to Bills to Play some Cards, it was a 1-5 spread game (maybe 1-6 I forget), but played with a few AVPers and a few locals grinding some time out waiting for AA or KK and a few other tourists, it was a fun table.

I managed to hit my best hand of the trip when my 10dJd I turned the 8-Q straight flush, it took down a decent sized pot, but no bonus, Bills only high hand payouts are for Royals.

Alaska Gal and Sabs met Karapet and I there and we headed downtown for some deepfried goodness. We first had to pit stop while Alaska Gal dropped off some laundry, and which gave us time to take pictures with a large green inflatable gorilla. And then hit up the Nugget, checked out the new grand room (very nice looking room) and then headed over to Mermaid for some deepfried goodness. I had A hotdog and Twinkie…both were excellent. Sabs and I then bought the ridiculously huge margaritas from the bar and checked out a few more stops downtown. Before heading back the strip.

Met with IP Jake (thanks for the Buffets, the hat, and the photo op with the huge crown bottle). I was going to grind out for a while but after finishing that huge margarita (Sabs did finish hers first). I elected to take a nap before dinner. After a nice little snooze we met up at the IP Poker room and headed over to Dicks Last resort for the meet-up Dinner.

I think there was a total of around 15 of us for dinner, and it was a great time. Had a few drinks and a lot of laughs. A few shots, a few beers, and the communal glass of guiness. After dinner, the a bunch of us headed off to the IP for some drinks and Karaoke. Lesalanos leveled the place with a song, Sabs and I were denied Paradise by the dashboard light (appearantly they aren’t happy with 12 minute long songs) and sang some Buffet instead, Alaska Gal sang a few ditties and I did Devil Went Down to GA again, all while drinking a plethora of shots and beers.

After Karaoke we headed over to the P-HO for some more cards, we got a table opened and played some $2/4 HORE….just as fun to play as it is to say!!! Had a blast at the game and treaded water. Finally called it a night around 4ish, for a whopping 3 hours of sleep.

Saturday June 14th – Mixers, Meet-ups, and Much Much More.

Woke up fairly early 6:45 am and couldn’t sleep, took a stroll down the strip and checked out some places I hadn’t visited yet, and played a few hours of uneventful Poker.

I had lunch at the World famous IP Buffet (thanks again for the comp) and then met up with the crew to play in the Mixer at the IP. I donked off 2 racks of chips but it was a great time.

A few of my highlights (if you can call them that), I scooped a Stud 8 hand with Jack High, I scooped a Omaha High/Low with a pair of 3’s, got a 53 in badugi, and took almost half of the pots during 321 Omaha round. It was a great time, and I can’t wait to play in it another time.

It was time for the tourney, the Bounties met up early and drew our tables. We then worked on drinking every beer within a 5 mile radius of the IP conference room (poker isn’t out only vice), and posting a few updates on the site, as well as observing the side bet action take place.

I have to take a moment and thank the guys at the IP and LVM for busting their asses to make this a great event. The dealers also need props for putting up with our shenanagins, and other insanity. The room was great the tables were nice, the pizza was an added bonus, and after meeting with 99% of the people in the room and a ton if photos it was time to shuffle up and deal.

I was on table 4 and we were off…I got 66 on my first hand, raised and got no love, I ended up with AA a few hands earlier, saw a flop, and took some chips off another player, on a raggy board. I was doing a nice job taking down some pots until My AQ suited hit top pair, and I jumped into a trap for about half of my chips from a player holding AA. A little while later my bounty was gone when my 10hJh flopped an open ended draw on a 5c-8d-9c board (I think), checked to me and I shove, and am called by 8c6c (I believe) No love on the turn and a 10c on the river gave me top pair, but he hit his flush (sorry I forget who took me out)

I then rebought as an alternate and got placed at the Action table. At first it was TheOD (with a ridiculously huge stack), Clem, and I, then they brought in UTHORNFAN who was holding a large stack, and then they brought us the one and only Yappy Dave. Playing at a table with them was a great time. I tripled through theOD and Hornfan when my JJ’s held against A/Q and A/K. Yappy and I then proceeded to play Stackies for a while until he finally knocked me out. The only thing I really remember about the end was that I was about 1 for 7 in races in the end, and I just couldn’t keep up with the ever growing stacks, so I was out in 21st place at about 11:00.

I headed down to the IP room which was packed wall to wall, and Harrah’s room was just as busy, when you put 100 plus poker player anywhere we are going to fill up some seats on the when we bust out of the tourney. So we headed over to the TI to play in a mixer there, not before Cheese decided I should wear half of a glass of Sabs drink to make the walk to the TI just that much more entertaining….nothing like walking down the strip while it looks like you have pissed yourself.

The mixer was a blast, I broke about even, and drank my ass off….the details get fuzzy but here is what I recall, Tray and Cheese were both pretty hammered and made for some interesting poker playing. Other players at the table were Lesalanos, Sabs, Paul, Boofer, Mrs Boofer, JohnDZ and Mrs. JohnDZ, the game was great. The dealers and floor put up with our grief, and debauchery. It got to the point where the waitress was bring in a tray of shots, collecting empties, walking out the door, and returning with another tray of shots we never had to order, they just kept coming…I don’t think I can go anywhere near a lemon drop for quite a while now.

After the Mixer things get fuzzy, I do vaguely remember doing the Fat Guy in a Little Coat dance while wearing Sabs’ Hoody, then there was a trip to the V, and a few other stops before finally calling it a night around 4:30 or 5, I think I’m still not 1000% sure how I got back or where anyone else ended up is still somewhat of a mystery to me. Appearently if you are going to drink for 15 hours straight you shouldn’t only eat one slice of prime rib and a slice of pizza….your memory might go a little fuzzy.

Sunday June 15th- Last Day Blues

I finally get up and pack my stuff around 9am, and check out of the hotel. I then go and scratch a few things off of my Vegas to do list. Bellagio Conservatory…check, Goddard Gallery….check, Fountian Show….check, TI poker room….check, and roamed the strip checking some things out.

Played some table games and VP while watching the US open, and then said my good byes to all who were still running around the IP at that time.

Had dinner with Sabs and Tray at the world famous IP buffet, and headed to the airport for the worlds saddest flight (I hate the flight home from vegas, I never want to leave).

Flight was delayed for 40 minutes, got home around 2 am.


I played some poker but not nearly as much as I planned, and most of the poker I played was mixed games, but it was still fun.

I hit Quads 4 times on Video Poker, 3 of them during the first day.

Pai Gow kicked my ass I have never seen so many cold cards in my life including a string of 12 hands in a row with nothing better than 1 pair.

Donked some money in some slots on the last day, the Top Gun Slots was pretty fun.

I was the 2nd bounty KO’d (yappy was the first), and then I rebought and made it to 21st, not a bad showing, but I couldn’t win any flips at the end.

I think I ended up with about 9-12 hours of sleep for the whole weekend.

It was great to meet all of you that could make it, I had one of the greatest trips ever in my life, and you all added to the great time. I’d start to name names, but there are way too many to list.

I lost some money, dropped a bunch on drinks and tips, and donated a bunch to mixed games, but it was still a great trip.

I am now seriously considering moving out to Vegas, I am updating the resume and checking out some job sites…anyone know of any Sales Engineer Positions or something that will help pay the bills? I am trying to land a good gig bye the next meet-up so I can be a local degen!!!

Last Edited:


  1. Sounds like a blast... you have no idea how jealous I am!

  2. Thanks for the great report. I thought you told me that the cab driver's name was Cash Henderson, which is an even a better Vegas name that Max Henderson. I could be wrong though.

    Glad to hear you made it home safely and yes I do agree that one of the worst things in life is the flight home from Vegas.

  3. Minton,

    It was a pleasure to meet you this weekend. Had nothing but good times drinking the nights away. I completely forgot that I spilled Sabs's Drink all over your crotch. Sorry about that.


  4. Now that's the way to do Vegas, minus any "Adult Entertainment" (if you're into that thing)

    Good luck looking for a job; I know personally I'd have a difficult time living that close to the strip but if you can pull it off go for it!

  5. Nice report, Minton. Your posts never fail to entertain! :grin:

    As for the job thing in LV, you opposed to working for the Feds? If you check out USAjobs.com, you can always find a posting in Vegas for some type of job that would suit you....with Uncle Sam's best wishes......and benefits!

    I, myself, have tinkered with that idea but the wife was, let's say, emphatic, that it wasn't going down like that. That being said, you are now charged with my dream, as I have to live cathartically (sp?) through you. Do me proud!

  6. Details on the offensive t-shirt please.

  7. @djpeteski

    I don't have any pics of the shirt from the trip, but here is a small photo of it from when I lived in Little Rock

    It say's

    "I may be fat....but my (Another Term for Male Rooster) is huge"

    I can kind of understand that it does say cock, but seriously it's Vegas and it was 5:00am

  8. @Angel Sabs

    Jessica and I were standing behind the podium watching the debauchery on table 7 when minton was standing almost in front of you as you were sitting on the table talking to leslanos (I think) and got on the mic and called for "the dance" to which he obliged.

    I doubt anyone is ever going to be able to top this meet, unless IP does it again!

  9. I did both dances, saturday night...

    I did the Truffle Shuffle at the table, and also the Fat Guy In a Little Hoody (taken from Chris Farley in Tommy Boy) just before we left.

    I vaguely seem to remember them...some details are slowy coming back

  10. Great report! Now that's how to do Vegas in style!

    BTW who's the balding gray-haired creepy dude trying to impress the chicks with his black chip in the PH pic?

  11. @Grange95

    This from the spooky old man currently robbing the cradle.

    (although admittedly it is a creepy looking picture...could I get any older looking?)

  12. Great read and pix. I plan on checking AVP every day to see if the next meet up is planned, then book my trip!

    After seeing a few pix from your T shirt collection and Santa's hokey pokey one, I think for the next meet, there should be a contest for wackiest T shirt. I'll have to think of something for myself.

  13. Great read Minton. Hard to believe my trip was almost three months ago. Miss Vegas! By the way, what did your other tshirt say with the, um, rooster and kitty. Your drink is blocking the full view. Thanks!

  14. @acexalex

    I have seen that one before.

    It says something to the effect of:

    I want to stick my "rooster" in your "cat" and smack your "donkey".

  15. @djpeteski

    I have seen that one before.

    It says something to the effect of:

    I want to stick my "rooster" in your "cat" and smack your "donkey".[/quote]

    My shirt was a little more random...

    here is the print

  16. @Santa Claus

    This from the spooky old man currently robbing the cradle.

    (although admittedly it is a creepy looking picture...could I get any older looking?)[/quote]

    The black chip and clever hokey pokey attire make you look younger. :laughing:

    BTW, I played recently poker with an old guy in a Members Only jacket.

    Sorry to hijack, Minton.

  17. Good report. After the tourny on Saturday night I played 2/5 NL at the Venetian, so I must have missed you guys. The weekend was a blast....

  18. It was a pleasure meeting you Minton and I thoroughly enjoyed joining you in completing some of your long 'Vegas to do list'. I really hope we get to do it all again sometime.

  19. Great report! Really enjoyed it.... really makes me want to get out to an AVP weekend.