With the wife not exactly in Vegas shape (she's due to give birth to our second child), I set out for Vegas for a poker and football watching boys weekend with my buddy Derek. Thanks again wifey ... you really are the best. We flew in on a Saturday and stayed at the Sahara -- 17 bucks a night on Sunday and Monday.

Saturday:
After checking in and settling into the room, it's time to start drinking and gambling. While Derek is putting on his deoderant or whatever he's doing, I figured I'd get a free beer and play some video poker at the bar. I was surprised they charged me $1.25 for the Corona so after that, a $1 tip and a $10 loss on the machine, it was the most expensive Corona I've ever consumed. But being the first of many in Vegas, it was damn good.

We spent $30 on the monorail which didn't end up being worth it (more on that later) but we took it down to the Imperial Palace for our first session. We decided on IP for the $2/hour comps and something I read on this very website: "players are among the worst in the city" and boy did they not disappoint. First, we had a short wait and decided to play a little blackjack at a lovely $10, 6:5 table. We were stone cold for a couple of shoes and I was down about $250 at one time. We then got hot and I only ended up losing $27 while Derek was betting $40/hand during the hot streak and won around $350.

Twenty minutes to a 1/2 hour later, we started a new 1/2 NL table with 6 of us. This is probably the loudest poker room I've ever played in -- they have these dealertainers performing consistently throughout the night. Nonetheless, I can't count how many time I raised my hands toward to sky and yelled "I love Vegas." We had a couple of guys sit down from London, a couple from France and a really hot Russian chick. It really was an international affair. And most had very little experience playing hold 'em. I played about 5 1/2 hours and won $272. The most memorable hand was when I had 7d 5d and called in position and flop was all diamonds J98 if I remember (I had 12-20 beers that night). He bet out and had about $100 in front of him so I raised it to $50 and he pushed all in with a straight and no diamond and was drawing dead. He told the guy next to him that he went in because he didn't think that I thought he was a player.

After finishing up at IP we went over to Caesar's to partake in the 1/3 game. They were a pretty serious bunch except for a couple of cocky young guys who were betting $5 on the side on every flop whether it was either black or red. That was way more important to them than the game and to be honest a little annoying. I started off pretty well -- there was a straddle and six callers in my third hand and I had Jacks in the SB. I made a big raise (again the details are sketchy)and got one caller. Flop was 10-high and I made a big bet and the caller folded. Then about an hour and a half later I played the only hand I was truly disappointed in. I raised in early position with 66 and got two callers and saw a flop of AAx with two hearts. I bet every street and of all people, Derek showed AQ on the river and took the pot. Normally, I never bluff a friend at the table but I was drunk and unbelievably tired. Time to rack up and go to bed, down $50 for the session.

We stopped by O'Shea's food court and scarfed down some pizza and subs and hit the monorail for some much needed rest. I was planning on waking up early to go to the Bellagio to reserve some seats for the morning football contests but nursing a nasty hangover I got started a little later than planned. After some Ibprofin and a sh*&, shower and shave, I was ready to go. I didn't arrive at the Bellagio until close to 9:30 a.m. but there were still a few scattered seats. We watched the Vikes (we're from Minnesota) slip past the Ravens to move to 6-0 on the season and I saw 2 of my 3 bets come through for a profit of 81.90. Kansas City covered +6.5 at Washington, Carolina covered -3 at Tampa Bay, but Minnesota and Baltimore exploded in the 4th quarter to ruin my under 45.5 bet.

Sunday:
After a few Kettle screwdrivers and a great wrap called the "Veggie Bomb" at the Pepper Rose Deli, I decided to play a few hands of 1/2 NL at Harrah's because it has the best room to watch sports. Oakland beat Philly and Tom Brady tossed 6 touchdowns; it was an interesting afternoon of football. Nine hours later I won $13. Oh yeah. I began swiftly at a 5-to-6 handed new table that included a couple of Australians who had never played in a live casino. I was catching some cards like sets and quads and up around $200. But then I ran into one of the rookies. He was in early position and threw a $5 chip in and then said "raise." Of course, the dealer informed him that it was just a call. I was in the BB with KK and raised it to $30 and it was just him and me to the flop. I bet 2/3 of the pot on the flop and he called. Then I set him all in on the turn and he thought for a while and called with AA (he started the hand with $125-$150). I don't think there was anything I could have done but being that was the first time he'd raised and he was clearly nervous, I should have know he had Aces and I could have saved some money by checking and calling on the turn and river (he may not have even bet). As the day progressed, the play got better and sometimes super tight. There was on dude who I thought was pretty good and then he played this hand: straddled with many callers - I had KT on the button, flop was KTx with 2 diamonds. I bet flop, he called; I bet turn, he called; 7 on the river and then he comes out firing a bet and I insta-called and he flipped over K7 and said good hand, I thought you had AK or AQ. If you thought that's what I had why'd you call a big bet on the turn with 3 outs out of position.

Having a card room closest to my home that only spreads limit games, I believe limit hold'em is my best game. Despite that, when I go to Vegas I usually don't like to play limit because I have that option so close. But with the promotion going on at the Venetian, I had to give it a try. There was a pretty decent list so I jumped into a newly started must-move 2/5 NL game. I made one nicely timed double-barrelled bluff to steal an OK pot after the guy showed top pair and mucked while I had just Ace high. Then I moved over to the main game where I believe I played my best hand of the trip. I saw this guy open raise to 20 twice already in about an orbit and 1/2 and then he did it again and I called immediately to his left with KQo. Pot = $42. Flop K78 rainbow. He bets 2/3 pot I call. Turn is 6 now with two diamonds. Pot = $100. He bets $50 I call. River completes runner runner flush and he immediately grabs a hundred dollar bill with 3 $5 chips on top and slides it into the pot. My read was that he was acting awfully strong and he's either got JT or absolutely nothing. After about a minute and verbally breaking down the hand, I made the call and he says "if you can call you win." I'm not a "big call" kind of person so I was pretty proud of myself for having that read and going with my instincts. I'm up $344 for the 2/5 session in just over an hour before being called to the 8/16 game.

As you may or may not know, the Venetian is offering a $25 food comp, 1.50/hr. comps and a $2 rake for anyone who would like to try 8/16 and 15/30 limit. Well, I hope that food at the Venetian ends up being frickin good because it cost me $379 to go for it. The majority of that game was clearly locals and they went to the check-raise-on-the-flop-with-any-pair-school. I couldn't hit my AK and AQ for naught. The biggest hand I played was when I called with Q2 suited in the BB to a raise and five callers. Seven-handed the flop was Q26 all diamonds. I bet, the preflop raiser immediately raised and everyone folded. I three bet, he four bet and I capped and then he tried to make it six but could not because we reached the cap. If he doesn't have AA with the A of diamonds I'm never playing poker again. Turn is blank, I bet and he calls and river is a 6, pairing the board. Check-check on river and he wins with 2 pair. Not a bad beat -- he had a lot of outs but disappointing nonetheless. Lost $35 at the Venetian.

Derek came over and joined my at the Venetian and played some 1/2 NL when I guy I was told named "Crazy Mike" joined his game. He started out with a $100 bill and went all-in without looking. No matter how much he had on the table he would go all-in blind but he had a stipulation: his opponent's cards would have to be face-up and he would let that person choose one of his cards to turn up and then he would turn the other card over last. Derek was in against him with QQ and another guy with KQ for an $850 pot but a K came on the board. I guess this Mike guy plays higher limit poker and goes to the Venetian about once a month. That's nothing I want to mess with but some people like that kind of action -- people were two-deep surrounding his table just to watch.

After it took 15 or so minutes for the floor to put my $25 comp on my Grazie card, we headed back to the monorail to go back to the hotel for some much-needed rest. Just as we are approaching the station at Harrah's, the metal gate started descending. I yell to Derek "let's go" and we just make it under the gate and then realize we can't get past the entrance and the monorail had just pulled away. I totally forgot that damn thing stops running at night. This is the city that never sleeps, right. We were trapped just for a moment though as the gate went back up and we're free to spend more money on a cab. After an excellent breakfast burrito at the Cafe at Harrahs and $15 cab ride later, sleep was good.

Monday:
I wanted to play in one tourney while in Vegas so we headed to Bally's to play in its 11 a.m. $65 tourney. I didn't last long. I raised with AQo preflop to $300 at the 50/100 level, got 2 callers, c-bet $600 into a $1000 pot and still got one caller. I gave up on the turn afer he checked, then he bet $175 into a $2200 pot so I called and he flipped over a busted flush draw -- except he had a straight that he didn't see: board was 2346T with two hearts and he held J5 of hearts. Anyway, starting with 3000 chips, I'm down to just over 1000 and I open-push with 77 at the 100/200 level, get called in 2 places and lose to AQ and I'm done. That wasn't much fun. After that debacle I joined a 1/2 NL game for the next 8 or so hours. First and only time I got frustrated on this trip. Once again I started out pretty well, but quickly lost a bunch, built it back up and then lost it again. Lost $255. A girl and her boyfriend were playing and both had recently sat down. She open raised to $15 from early position and I called in late position with AhKh -- all-in-all five callers including the boyfriend in the SB. Flop = A74 two diamonds. Everyone checked to me and I bet $50 into the $70 pot, only boyfriend calls. He checks the turn blank and I bet $100 into $170 pot and he raises all-in. We both had about $400 to start hand so I had $165 in there and had to call $235 to win $505. He was pretty new to the game (didn't understand a straddle, for example), check-raised the turn, and he seemed super confident, so I folded. That was one of the tougher folds I made this weekend and I would have loved to see those cards. A little later I saw J8, flopped two pair and lost a big pot after his flush draw got there; I had to rebuy for the first and only time. I left Derek to go purchase some gifts for the family and cash in one of sports bets at the Bellagio.

Hey, while I'm there, I might as well play some poker. What a novel idea. Played 2/5 NL at the mecca and enjoyed in tremendously. A little intimidated and a tad out of my price range, but realized the players weren't all that good right away. I was up $500 early after a couple of good hands: 1) reraised a raiser with KK on the button and saw a Q-high flop. Opponent bet every street and I just call each time and he showed 99. 2) Saw a flop of Q65 two hearts with Jh9h. Pot is $25. I bet $15 and got two callers. Pot is $65. Turn was a black 10; bet $35 and opponent raised to $100. Pot is $200 and had to call $65, getting slightly more than 3-to-1, it was an easy call. River was an 8 and I immediately checked and he quickly checked behind. I probably left $100 out there -- I was so sure he'd bet and I would get him all-in. I made a disappointed sigh when he checked behind and he didn't like that at all. He was an older gentleman and wasn't happy with me. The good fortune ended when my good pal Derek swung into the room and showed up at my table. I cashed in some money for him and proceeded to drop about $400 in the next hour -- my top set of Jacks got run down by the gutshot broadway straight of a sophisticated looking older Italian lady and called down too many bets with an underpair to an aggressive player who flopped top pair. Derek, unfortunetly, busted out, went back to pick on the unsuspecting back at Bally's and I then proceeded to win almost all my winnings back. Derek -- you're bad luck you piece of sh*&. I picked up AK in late position, flopped A-high, got check-raised big on the flop by the most hip-hopping young white dude I've ever seen. I wasn't folding this time -- he didn't have enough chips, but luckily he had A-rag and AK held up. Won $421 for the session.

Once again, it was too late for that damn monorail (4 a.m. or so) so I took the Deuce back to the Sahara. I really wasn't paying attention and didn't know how to stop the bus so by the time I figured it out we were at the Stratosphere. I jumped off the bus and it was pitch black to say the least. I'll admit it I was deathly scared. I had 2 grand in my pocket and it's not a savory neighborhood. I pretend to talk on my phone while passing some questionable characters and made it back intact. Phew. Two hours of sleep and back home to reality. Another great trip to Vegas in the books.

Summary:
+301 for poker
+127 for sports bets
-50 for other gambling
= 378 total won gambling

-28 for food
-77 for transportation
-388 for flight, hotel and gifts
=493 in total expenses

-115 spent for entire trip