Solo trip complete with boobs and a d-bag

Reports & Blogs by cbob8 about Horseshoe Las Vegas, MGM Grand Posted

So, my saintly wife agrees to maintain the homefront while I take yet another trip to Vegas for the three nights from 1/11--1/14. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, given the snowstorm that dumped a load on KC in the afternoon and evening before I was to fly out. However, airport crews and Southwest airlines came through, and I was on the ground in Vegas by 1pm, and in a cab to Harrahs ($35/total for three nights). I noticed that the cabbie said something I’ve heard from other cabbies when leaving the airport: “Do you want to take the thruway, or the side streets?” Those of us who are in-the-know understand that this is a subtle attempt to making ridings give themselves the longhaul, because the Vegas novice would falsely assume that the “thruway” (read: tunnel) is superior to “side-streets.” I got checked in quickly and up to my room, then headed down to the gym for a quick workout before hitting the rooms. I’m not a total health-nut, but I try to discipline myself to get in regular exercise, even when I’m travelling (to Vegas or otherwise).
I’m too lazy to recall all of my sessions, and the days on which they occurred, so what follows is more of a highlight reel than a blow-by-blow.
There’s a restaurant in Boston, the name of which escapes me. However, this restaurant has been around for a long time and has kind of a Revolutionary War-era feel, complete with family-style tables and decor. Part of their shtick is that the waitresses are intentionally rude to customers—kind of playing the part of crusty Colonial beer wench. If you’re familiar with this restaurant, then you’ve got a pretty good idea of what the dealers are like at the Mirage—only the dealers not putting on an act. Seriously, the words “curmudgeon” and “ornery” are apt descriptions of many (not all) of the Mirage dealers, who I’ve witnessed being rude to players on many occasions. That being said, I’m strangely drawn to the Mirage poker room. Perhaps I did something really bad in a past life and I’m trying to punish myself. But more likely, it’s the fact that they often have very juicy games going (especially when smaller rooms do not), their location is great (especially from Harrahs), they run good promotions, and their floor staff is really nice and friendly.
One of my big sessions was at the Mirage. I built my stack a little bit just playing ABC poker, then ran my KK into AA, and lost a good chunk. I was still sitting on about $500 at a 1/2 game. There was a guy at my table that I had played with before, about 2 months previously. He was a typical “LA guy” complete with muscle shirt, lots of tattoos, and shockingly inflated ego, who comes to Vegas regularly with his “bros.” He was one of those guys that plays way too many hands, and is everybody’s buddy when he’s winning and hitting cards. But when things start to go south, he’s grumpy and belligerent, berating players that give HIM a bad beat. I was getting ready to play the 7pm tourney, so I was down to just a few hands. I look down at KK in middle position. LA D-bag makes it $10 from EP, and a fairly weak tight woman calls right before me (she, incidentally, and enormous breasts and unconsciously fondled herself when she was trying to make decisions during hands…. The men at the table shot each other frequently glances, and were quite amused by this behavior, and even one of the female dealers gave her a funny look at one point. She was oblivious. But I digress…..). So, with a $10 raise and call in front of me, I raise to $40 with KK. Pretty sure that LA D-bag would call. It folds around to LADB, who says “Really….” And calls. Weak tight woman performs a few self-fondles and folds. Flop comes out low, uncoordinated, and rainbow. LADB checks, and I bet something like $50. He calls pretty quickly, but this is kind of his thing…. Trying to exude strength. I can’t remember what the turn was, but it was low and not particularly scary. LADB checks again, and I decide to confuse him with a check behind. His MO is that he bets big when he thinks someone is weak. Sure enough, he fires $100 at the river. I snap call, and take it town….. he shows 10 10. Off to the tourney.
The tourney was mostly uneventful. There were about 40 players, and when we got down to 15, I was in shortstack mode. I managed to get down to the final 6, but I was the shortest stack on the table by far, and had 2-3 BBs. Pay was to down to 5 places. However, a woman who had been playing well decides to call the all-in of another pretty tight player with KQoff. The other player flips over AQ, she loses, and is gone. I have no idea why she did that, given that I was 2 hands from being forced to be all-in, and she had 15-20x my chips. So, I slide into the money (and promptly lose).
Later in the trip I had another session at the Mirage that was notable for the maniac who sat down. It became obvious pretty quickly that this guy was going to play nearly every hand, raise almost every hand, and put big post-flop bets or raises including shoves in after almost all flops. This is the kind of player I LOVE to have at my table, and I just pray I’m the one to take him down. Interestingly, this guy starts to build a very big stack as he raises people out of pots and wins them, but he shows the table really weak hands like 2nd pair or inside straight draws. I make sure to reload my stack up to $300, the table max. I get in the following hand with him. I’m in late position with KK. Someone before the maniac makes it $10 to go, and the maniac raises to $35 or so. I make it $115, and the maniac calls—we’re head’s up. Flop is K J x --- Bingo! I prepare for a tactical draw-down of maniac’s chips. However, he shoves after the flop and I snap call. He shows J 10 (no flush possible). Of course the turn brings a Q and I have to sweat the straight, but he doesn’t pull it out. As I’m raking the chips, I hear him chatting with the guy next to him, saying “yeah, I didn’t put him on that…. His hand was well-hidden.” Hidden? Hah! You get a 3-bet to $115 pre-flop and you don’t have an inkling that you might be up against AA or KK? Anyway, the maniac proceeds to build his stack back up by getting a little lucky, and getting called down by relatively weak hands. He leaves the table (after dismantling about 3 players), up about $800.
About ½ an hour before he left, a young blond woman who was prominently displaying a set of costly anti-gravitational boobs sat down to play (note: I’m actually not boob-obsessed, and the boobs are relevant to the story). She seems to be very nice, but doesn’t say much as the craziness with the maniac is in full-bloom while she was there. Shortly after the maniac leaves, she’s called to a different table. As she’s trying to scoop up her chips, I noticed that she was going to have a difficult time getting them all in her small hands, so I non-chalantly ask her “Do you need a rack?” As soon as it’s out of my mouth I recognize my unintentional double-entendre. She says “yes, but not really!” Nicely-played young lady, nicely-played.
Had one bad session at Pho where I just kept running into monsters (flopped boats, quads, etc.) and ended up down quite a bit. Played one session of 4-8 limit at Bellagio.... waited way too long for a seat, and had a bad session. Had a good session at MGM where I felted a player with my set to his flopped two pair. Had a so-so session at Bally's-- took a couple of smallish bad-beats, and left after I decided the table was too rocky. Played once at Excalibur…. I had AJ in one hand, raised to $10 and was called by one player who was on kind of a short-stack at about $60. Flop comes down A J 10. I bet $20 or so, and the short stack shoves for an additional $30 or so. I call quickly, knowing I might be behind but won’t have to risk more. Sure enough, he has KQ for the flopped straight, but my J peels right off on the turn for the full house.
I decided to use my Harrah’s comps to purchase the 24-hour “buffet of buffets” in the middle of my trip. I started with a late lunch at Pho at 2pm on Wed., had a late dinner at Paris Wed. night, breakfast at Harrahs thurs morning, then slipped in another quick lunch at 1:30pm on Thursday before my 24-hours expired. So, 4 meals for $40 in built-up comp-dollars,,,,, I’d say that’s +EV. In particular, I like that I can get lots of fruits and vegetables in at the buffets, which is a little difficult in other food contexts without spending a ton of cash. The key, of course, is not to be a pig! Also, I found that having the B of B’s nailed down DID influence where I played more than if I wasn’t kind of nailed down to eating at a Harrah’s property. So, I wouldn’t do the B of B’s for a full trip, but once in three days worked out pretty nicely.
Oh, and I discovered I’m like the worse sports-bettor in the world. I bet five big-12 games on Wed. for $20 bucks each…. lost all of them. I should have done a parlay of the 5 of them betting against myself!
Overall, had a really nice solo trip. I think I was up about $100 for the trip, and spent very little on food and lodging due to comps.

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  1. Durgin-Park, Boston, MA.

  2. @DaveC95818
    Waited a year and 1/2 for this EPIC first post nice!!!