This is likely the longest trip report in the history of the world…lol. Apologies in advance for the length, grammatical and spelling errors…but I don’t have the energy to edit it at this point. Hell, I’m not even going back to read what I have typed…LOL.

This report has been difficult to put into perspective, as I have not yet really stopped to think about the magnitude of this trip until this moment. The exact days and times are probably not complete or accurate and I played in a number of casinos that I won’t even bother mentioning in this report because nothing of note really happened worth mentioning. The events and hands mentioned are as they happened. Going from recollection now is the best I can do, as the daily notes I intended to make never materialized. There’s always something more important to do in Vegas, than take notes on your trip. I showed up around noon on Saturday 4-14-07 for a 12 day stay. Beyond that, everything has become somewhat of a blur. That said, let me start at the start I guess…

Saturday

My first move was to get a town car for $44+tip (it used to be $35) and go to the store to pick up some drinks and junk food. I have two friends coming in for a few days and THEY have given me a shopping list as well. Let's see...30 Diet Mt Dews in 24 oz bottles for ME, that's it! For THEM, a bag of oranges (2 actually ever eaten), two cases of water (what a joke, 2 drunks wanting water, 6 bottles drank, the rest awaiting Chris the Mind Freak’s water into beer magic trick I suspect), 2 cases of beer (gone in two days, actually 1 1/2 but who's counting), one six pack of punch Gatorade (remained behind the empty beer cases, never seen, never opened, left for maid on checkout), two 2 liter diet cokes which are not ever opened but are moved continuously for a week as they are ALWAYS in the way when I am trying to grab one of my drinks (both freeze eventually in the refrigerator for reasons unknown), one bag Oreos (guess they saw ROUNDERS the week before we went, all cookies eaten, crumbs sucked out, corner of plastic bag inadvertently eaten as well), one bag ruffles chips (note: chips should be eaten prior to sitting on bag after drinking first case of beer) various other junk food crap (most unopened, uneaten, unwanted by me, but probably making the housekeeper’s kids happy).

Arrive at Polo Towers Villas (timeshare on strip that I HIGHLY recommend!!) and it looks like I'm moving in for a month instead of two weeks. I had to pack enough for two weeks (since the plan is to NEED to be in Vegas long enough to win the WPT Championship…yep, that plan worked out well, as you will read if you get that far into this book…lol) plus all the junk listed above. It's about 2pm now. The knuckleheads are getting in around 10:30pm, so I have time to find a game. Before I leave the room, I get a call from my two buddies. It's like a scene from a movie, where they are already drunk at the airport bar and want me to talk to the cute bartender on the phone to explain that they weren’t REALLY idiots. I did the only reasonable thing I could do. Told them to put her on, I hung up immediately and turned off the phone rather than hear the ensuing scuffle, as I am confident she didn’t have any desire to further her torment. Off to MGM, which is next to the Polo Towers.

Got into MGM about 4:30 (took a few minutes to unpack a little and stock the fridge) and there’s a short list for the 2-5 nlhe tables. I stand around for a while, watch the big cat in the cage across the hall, and finally I am seated. Table is half 25 year old locals who the waitresses all know, other half are mostly those old guys who complain for 3 hours about a hand that they shouldn't have been in, and think they took a bad beat when they lose a $50 hand with a mid-pair...lol. Nothing much happens of note. Won a couple hundred with no cards. I have to agree with some here, that the marble race tracks are a little tough to get used to. Not bad, just different.

Headed back to Polo Towers so that I'll be there when my two friends show up. Something tells me I don't want them talking to the front desk, even though they are registered on the guest list.

Too late, they arrived 20 minutes early and have already been to the front desk. Cutest girl you ever saw working front desk smiles at me when I walk through the front door and tells me that my friends, who I had given her advanced warning about, are there. She shakes her head a little, and laughs. I can only imagine.

Yep, they are hammered. One of them apparently went a little overboard with the girl at the front desk. Nothing I can’t fix I guess. They decide they want to play somewhere so I feed them to the Aladdin poker room. As soon as they are set, I get out of there and go to the Bellagio to get my bearings for the WPT satellites.

Eventually I end up going into the Bellagio Nightclub LIGHT. It’s Saturday night, I’m tired from the trip from the east coast, and figure if I can stay up a while longer, I’ll be on some sort of pseudo Vegas Time. (Crazy as it sounds, staying up half the night actually worked.) TIP: If you have a VIP pass, don’t stand in the line with everyone else who has VIP passes. Go to the far left side of the line where it is roped off and nobody is standing, and fold $10 or $20 around the VIP pass and stand there for a couple of minutes. Two things catch the eyes of the hosts who are letting people through the velvet ropes, as they used to do at Studio 54 in New York. Hot women and CASH. Great club on a Sunday night also. Skip Sunday nights at Body English at the Hard Rock, not worth the effort compared to LIGHT.

RANT WARNING!!-Bellagio (this seems like a good spot to get this off my chest)

I have played in a lot of poker rooms, and played a lot of different WPT and WSOP events. I'm not sure I have ever seen a room's management so obviously overwhelmed and rude in my life. For what it’s worth, everything the Bellagio Staff told me about their schedule was radically changed from Friday when I called to Saturday when I arrived. And interestingly, it changed every day that I was there from the information they were giving everyone the previous day. It was as if they were trying to get you to show up at the Bellagio just to screw with you, knowing that what they had told you the night before wouldn't be the same once you got there. They cut off the single table satellites whenever they felt like it during the night. And you could never be sure what satellites were being offered until you got there, because frankly I don't think the management even knew. There was one poor guy taking names, running out of the room to pay the cashier the collected money, seating the next SNG, talking to everyone in the room that he knew, taking winners back to the cashier, and etc. You name it, he had to do it. And I'm not talking 5 tables. It was more like 40 tables in that room. I have no beef with him other than his absolute disdain for anyone who wasn’t a regular player at the Bellagio, but hell, it looked more like the staff at the IP was running this thing than employees of the Bellagio. Some of the tournament tables were in their poker room; most were in the Fontana Lounge where they used the band stage as the feature table...lol...and had so many tables crammed in that small bar room that you couldn't pull your chair out to sit down if the guy behind you weighed more than 120 lbs. In AC they use those stupid architectural marvels called BALLROOMS for an event of this size and magnitude, but hey this is Vegas, I guess we were lucky to be allowed to walk into the Bellagio at all with an out of state drivers license. Lines for the single table satellites were long, and patience was running pretty low on occasion as many of us watched the head guy's friends (50-60 year old local/regulars) walk past the line and toss their entry fee on the desk and be seated right away. They didn’t even try to hide it or be cool about it. It was basically an in your face, this is OUR house kind of move. And commenting to any of the staff about it got you an eye roll that told you in so many words, whatthehell do you expect, we don’t want all of you people here anyway, the sooner you're gone, the better. SURELY the WPT can find a better place to host this tournament! It really gave me a new feeling of appreciation for the Borgatta staff in AC, who I have long bragged on as the best in the poker industry!!!

SUNDAY

A month ago I had told my friends that I would hang out with them ONE day while they were in town and go Downtown to Freemont or wherever else they wanted to go. Only one of them is able to get up at 10am, the other was still drunk and passed out, so we left him. If you haven't been downtown, you are missing a true old world Vegas experience. If you take a cab, which we did, it's about $20 each way including a tip. A little pricey in my opinion, but worth it ONCE, if you've never been before. Doubt I ever go back unless the monorail finally gets all the way up there. We went to play Binions tourney with the $10,000 guarantee that has been mentioned here on this site before. We walked into all of the casinos, while waiting for Binions to start and basically screwed around for a few hours walking and my buddy showing me how to play video poker, which was really weird for a real poker player, or at least it was for me. Everywhere we went they gave us t-shirts, mardi gras beads, playing cards, hats, mugs, all sorts of junk that ultimately my friend took back to his kids.

Side Note: Personally I thought all the escort service picture/trading cards being handed out by the card slappers on the strip would have made my friend’s son a bigger hero at his middle school, than a hat from 4 Queens Casino, but my friend didn’t like that idea. Not sure why…lol.

Tried to play a 2-5 nlhe cash game at Binnions. Long list prior to a tourney, and never got in. Interesting point: there is NO MAX buy in on any of the NLHE games at Binnions. You want to bring $5,000 to the 1-2 NL game? No problem, unless you count people laughing their asses off at you as a problem. But seriously, you can bring as much as you want, which means it doesn’t really matter how long the game is going, you don’t have to start your session as the short stack. Staff at Binnion’s was AAA+. Hope they can make it work over the long term. Not really sure the horse racing characters out of West Virginia are the best guys to own this place, but somebody could put some $$ into it and bring it back I’m sure. All of Downtown seems salvageable if you could get people there cheaply from the Strip. The Monorail is the obvious answer, but I think they are having some financial difficulties. And forget the Deuce (bus), I saw lines for those things that were nuts, with people pushing and shoving.

We get into the Binnions tournament which had enough people to cover the potential overlay I think. Pay the add-on, and get to work. Nothing much to report. About 140 players more or less as I recall. I'm gone after we get down to 4 tables. No bad beat, just ran out of runway to make anything happen in this one. Getting darker outside, but still too soon for light show so we go to Golden Nugget to eat. Wow. Not good...lol. We go out and light show is about to start. Truthfully, during my trip the only thing I saw cooler than this light show on the ceiling above Freemont Street, was the show at Wynn on the waterfall/lake.

Finally get out of there, and I take my friend over to Harrah’s to see the bartenders at the Carnival Bar which is outdoors between Harrah’s and the IP. If you ever saw/liked the bartenders in the movie Cocktail (with Tom Cruise) then go see the bartenders here at Harrah’s. You WILL NOT be disappointed!! The best I have ever seen, they absolutely blow that movie away, and frankly have some of the funniest shticks you will ever see when bachelorette parties roll in. Well now I’ve been drinking a little, so poker is out. I don’t have many rules, but poker and drinking don’t mix well for me, so I just SAY NO. After a while at Harrah’s I head back to the room and change to go to LIGHT again. Our friend is finally up, and been drinking again, so off we go. (they continue like this for 6 solid days…lol) I have VIP passes to Light, put $40 with them, and we are in. 30 minutes later they both disappear. I used Clinton’s military policy on that one. Don’t ask, don’t tell…who knows where they went, but the last I saw they had some interesting women standing beside them, and I have a safe in my room back at the Polo Towers, so no worries about things disappearing into the night…lol.

Monday

I get up and head over to the Bellagio to play in one of the SNG games for a seat into one of the Super Satellites. Am told that they wont start running those until Wed. “But you guys told me Saturday they would start on Monday,” says I. “And??”, they replied. Started feeling the love from the Bellagio Staff that moment and it never changed the entire week.

On my way back out of the Fontana Lounge (Bellagio) where all of the tournaments were headquartered, I noticed a sign for some daily satellites into the Super Satellites being held at the Mirage. I turn around and go back inside to speak with this A-hole again. He informs me that he doesn’t know a thing about it. Doesn’t even know what I am referring to. I pull out my MGM player card, look at the back, and remind him they are part of the same company, pointing to the names. Then ask again about the sign in their entrance to the Fontana Lounge/WPT tournament room. “Oh that thing? It was here when I came in this morning, can’t help you, call them, don’t know anything about it, this is the Bellagio, the Mirage is down the street, maybe you should go down there and ask.” The only thing that kept me from giving him a one finger salute on my way out of the door, was the fact that I was going to spend a lot of time in there over the next week or so. I was mumbling, but kept my cool.

I walk down to the Mirage and sign up for their satellite. Also told them about the Bellagio experience and that I thought they may want to call somebody down there about the Mirage satellites that were suppose to be running every day. LMAO, they explain to me that they are at the bottom of the food chain in the organization, and that they had nothing they could do. They also informed me that if 10 high rollers came into the Mirage to play a big (they didn’t define big, but I suspect it was 5-10 nlhe or better) NLHE game, they would not be allowed to accommodate them, and would be forced to send the action down to the Bellagio. I would think that the casino with a humongous white tigers would get to call the shots, but I guess not…lol. Anyway, I play a cash 1-2 nl as it’s the only NL game going. Just killing time. Tourney time comes, and they decide to wait another 20 minutes for sign ups. Cool with me, even though I got up and cashed out of an EASY game with a couple of nuts from Florida, who had been hitting every flop for hours, that thought any pair was worthy of defending. They each had about $1,000 in front of them when I sat down, which is pretty damn big for a 1-2nl game at the Mirage, and they managed to donk it off in about 2 hours. I was fortunate to be the recipient of a reasonable amount of their charitable gestures. Well, hell…no tourney. Cancelled. Lack of players. Guaranteed to run tomorrow though. OK, no biggie, just spinning my wheels a little, I have plenty of time.

I decide to go to TI and see what all the fuss on this site is about. Sit down to a table of very nice guys, all about 25, all live in Vegas, all know each other, half dating same waitresses, all talking about going to Rio to play after while, and when I say ALL I really mean ALL…lol. Entertaining. But not my idea of a game where I have the best of it, so I’m out after about 2 hours. Up or down less than a hundred after a max buy-in of $500, don’t even remember, but they were entertaining to sit with. Over these two hours, they ALL really did decide to go to the RIO, and from the conversation, it sounded like they were going to just close the table down and go in mass. Room is small, not much to choose from. No Michael AVP sightings while I was there. Maybe I should go across the street to the Venetian. Yep that’s the ticket.

Got to love the V. Seriously, not sure what people complain about here. 2-5 and 5-10 NLHE games were well played and entertaining. One thing you notice in those games at the V is that there aren’t a lot of fish. Now that’s a mixed blessing, I’ll admit. But if you wanted to play a serious game figuring you, at the VERY least, won’t have the worst of it and do not be overly concerned that some idiot with bottom pair was going to suck out on you, this was a great place to play! I personally found this to be the best room I played in, during my entire time in Vegas. And I played in a hellofalot of poker rooms. I came back here over and over. Never played any tourneys here, but did see a bunch of the “backed” professional poker players that busted out of the WPT SNG’s playing and finishing deep over and over again.

These “backed pros” gave me a real insight to the professional poker world that was worth the price of this entire trip. Basically, there appears to be two types of pros on the “circuit,” the HAVES and the HAVE NOTS. It was interesting playing against them both during my trip. The HAVES are guys who are currently flush with cash, running well, and are friendly will everyone. These guys talk as though they generally win an event along the way during these big tournaments, or at least finish deep in the cash. The HAVE NOTS on the other hand are mostly 30-50 year olds who probably run well on occasion, maybe won a medium sized tournament at the Commerce Casino in CA, and are “backed” by someone willing to give them a shot since they are basically busted at this moment in time. In the Bellagio there was one guy (who weighed every bit of 450lbs, no kidding, and wore all black) sitting on a sofa in the Fontana Lounge where the tournament was principally being played that seemed to be the source of a lot of the cash to the HAVE NOTS. They would play a SNG, lose, beg for another chance…and repeat. Over and over again I saw this fatman, as I began calling him, reaching into his pocket to hand out another SNG buy-in. I overheard the fatman telling several of these guys that he was going to switch the teams around as they weren’t having any success. Success? I played against a number of them that I specifically saw him backing, and I can tell you, they weren’t getting bad cards, they were PLAYING bad cards. No way they were getting anywhere in the shark tank of the WPT tournament at the Bellagio, I can guarantee you that! I never did figure out what he meant when he said “teams” but they weren’t hiding it, and the other pros all seemed to know the fatman and his crew. I figured if the big boys weren’t concerned, I wouldn’t bother investigating it anymore myself.

Back to he VVV. I guess I do need to report the worst blind sided hit I have ever taken in a game. And in hindsight it should have been much, much worse. I was playing 2-5 nl when they finally open a 5-10 nlhe game by the wall near the cage. I get up and move over there and buy-in for $1,000 with about $5,000 in my pocket. $100’s play here, but until I figured out the rhythm of this table/room I wasn’t getting too deep into trouble…or so I thought. Actually, in hindsight, the smartest thing I did was to only pull out the one grand, because I would have lost everything I had on the table otherwise. New game so they draw for the button. Several of these guys knew each other as locals, but the rest of the table didn’t give me any clues as to what to expect. Maybe locals, maybe tourists, maybe California pros, just no way to know. First 4 hands go by without incident. No big raises, no fireworks, just boxers stalking each other out for the most part.

Fifth hand. FIFTH FREAKING HAND, I’m a couple off the button and look down at K-K, a hand that proved to by my nemesis for the better part of my trip. A couple of limpers when it gets to me and I bet out $80 to go. 8x the big blind. Keep in mind that I still haven't seen any big hands played at the table so I don't know if I am out of line or not. I get two callers. BB and a guy sitting between us. Flop comes K-7-7. Just freaking amazing if you will excuse my french. BB bets out $250, about a pot sized bet. Middle guy folds faster than the BB can get his chips in and I have the nuts, or so I thought. I screw with the guy a little. Ask him if he called $80 with an A-7 suited just because I have a southern accent, and push all-in. I just knew he was going to call, and I was right. He had about $4,000 behind him and knew the locals at the table and the dealers. Sonofabitch slow rolled pocket 7's one at a time just to torture me and I lose a grand in one hand with those damn K's. Needless to say, I shook hands, shook my head, got up, and walked around the strip for about an hour or two in absolute shock. I thought crap like that only happened on the internet at Ultimate Bet or Pokerstars…LOL.

Ended up at MGM (told you I walked for a LONG time to clear my head) and played 2-5 for a long time, starting with $500. Don’t remember how long but I was on a mission to get my money back slowly and head back to the V. Got about $600 to the good, cashed out 2 racks and a handful of reds, and went to bed. Still thinking of that guy at the V, and worse, how it must have looked when a guy who sat down short stacked compared to everyone else just ran with his tail between his legs all the way to the South end of the strip after losing a hand that almost ANYONE would have been busted with. Took a while to go to sleep that night, I can guarantee you that much. The error was leaving, not playing the hand the way I did. But something like that takes the wind out of you, or at least it does me. I play in that same game in AC and have never had anything close happen to me like that before. It’s humbling to think about it again right now, and report it here..you can be sure of that!

Tuesday

Skip the Bellagio, head straight over to Mirage. No NLHE games at all at 10am. Pay for the Satellite Tournament again. Walk around. Grab a sandwich at the Carnegie Deli (sandwiches are as big as the one in New York City), watch the white tiger, man that big cat is cool behind that glass wall. Generally screw around for a while. Go back into the Mirage poker room 5 minutes before the tournament. They are already giving money back, AGAIN. Not their fault really. Bellagio still not willing to let anyone know about it I suspect. Just a lack of interest. No biggie, maybe I come back to try tomorrow, maybe I don’t. Room seemed nice enough, nothing impressive about it. Mostly a bunch of older men and women playing limit poker with $1 chips. I didn’t even bother to look at the games. Whatthehell. Lunch was good, and the terrarium feel of the middle of the casino warmed up an other wise dreary day in Vegas. Most of the days I was there were 68-72 degrees and overcast. Nights were around 50, with wind gusts of 50 mph+ and sand storms coming right down Las Vegas Blvd.

Later played at Caesars for about 6 hours. Great time. Good Players. Mostly locals and pros drifting over from the Bellagio. Up a bit, but nothing noteworthy really happened.

Wednesday

Head over to Bellagio to start playing the SNG satellites. $285 per person. Off we go. First one I am playing well, folding right, betting right, things going great. We get down to three people and I have slight (about 20%) chip advantage over other two guys. As soon as we are down to three, one of the players stops the action and says we need to chop. This wasn’t in my game plan. I was looking to get into the Super Satellite CHEAP and figured my chances were about as good right there as I might get. These two guys look at each other and look at me again, and ask if I am sure I don’t want to chop. Almost EVERYONE playing these SNG’s are poker pros out of Vegas or California. By not initially accepting the idea of a chop, it is QUITE obvious I am not! They go on to explain that the trick isn’t wining the SNG, but to chop a number of them. They describe the three handed play at the end of a SNG as nothing more than coin flips, and think that flipping coins will be quicker if I really don’t want to chop. One of them actually reaches into his pocket and pulls out 3 quarters. It is also quite clear what is going to happen if I don’t chop. Two of them, both pros, and one of me. They do this 52 weeks a year. Chop, chop, chop. Happy to chop. Didn’t I say I wanted to chop? My bad, that’s what I meant to say…lol. Everybody happy. Tip out the dealer, each of us pulls $880 for a $595 profit. Turn around and sign up to play the next one.

Second SNG, different players, same result. We are down to three players, one of the guys recommends a chop. In fact the dealer stopped shuffling when 4th guy left standing gets his walking papers, fully expecting us to chop. This is how it’s done. Apparently this is how it is always done. But this time I’m a veteran..LOL. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt…even if it was only a couple of hours earlier. This time I am short stack to other two, but not by much. And here was where I get another question answered without having to look like anymore of a fool. Did I get a fair deal the first go round on the $$ chop when I was chip leader? As it turns out, they chop EVEN unless it’s a landslide of a difference. Well so far two for two in the chop department. And more importantly, I’ve entered their world. Guys are talking to me like I’m one of them. A feeling that will be short lived I fear…tomorrow, while profitable overall, provided a feeling of embarrassment that is a first for me at the poker table.

After todays SNG’s, which they stopped running due to other tournaments getting ready to start, I head to Aladdin to check on my friends who are suppose to be playing there. Figured I would grab a shower and get back out to play a night session somewhere. Nobody here, so I get ready for my night session, fresh clothes, etc and head back to the VVVVV.

Play 2-5 for about 4 hours, up a bunch, looking over my shoulder the whole time at the 5-10 game. Then something at my table happens that I am not even sure about. Bottom line is that some older local guy starts complaining to anyone who would listen about how this young kid had drawn out on him. It was apparently a bad beat of some sort, but this was your typical old guy who whines about something like this forever if left to himself and can crush the atmosphere at a table. A new dealer steps up and taps our dealer on the shoulder. Changing of the guard. And just as the current hand is over, our dealer proceeds to tell the old guy that the beat wasn’t that bad, and proceeds to tell him about this guy a couple of days earlier…yada, yada, yada...it was my story from Monday with my boat slamming into the quad 7’s. He was trying to make the old guy feel better. I on the other hand was thinking about jumping off of the bridge leading into the V until I remember the water was only about 2 feet deep…lol. Oh well. May have saved me some money, I’ll never know, because I was just about to make a move to the 5-10 when the story came up, and it stopped me cold. The dealer telling the story didn’t know who I was, and he wasn’t the dealer when it happened. No hard feelings and I sure didn’t identify myself. Funny how I came to Vegas hoping to be famous for winning the WPT Championship, and instead find myself known for that crazy hand where my boat is crushed under the weight of quads, after which I disappear into the sunset. Did I say that it was the 5th freaking hand that I saw? Anyway, had a great night $$ wise, so I head to sleep.

Thursday

Get up early to play SNG’s at the Bellagio. I’ve got some work to do! First one, down to three players. You guesses it. CHOP. Second one, done in about an hour, wild play, all-in all over the place, It gets down to 3 players again, and I am the one who mentions chopping…hahaha…I’m one of THEM for sure now (just kidding). And we chop again. Up about $2,400 with the SNG’s. Need one more and I have paid for the $2,650 Super more or less. Before punishing myself with the next story, maybe I should mention that being in Virginia, with no legal poker rooms available, I am forced to play on the internet, a lot when I am unable to make the run up to AC (which I do every 3-5 weeks), and play SNG’s all the time….which may explain my success so far in this format.

Rack up SNG #5. I get seated and notice a guy laughing and joking with everyone at the table right away. It’s Steve Danneman, 2nd place WSOP Main Event 2005. And crazier still, I’m pretty sure I am the ONLY person sitting there who hasn’t played at his home game based on all of the banter between the 9 of them prior to our game getting started. They are joking with one of the guys pretty hard because he got hammered drinking over there fairly recently. I may have mentioned, but not going back to read this thing, that I am about the only amateur player trying to weasel his way into the WPT tournament as far as I have seen. Every pro you can imagine is here, and almost all of them play these SNG’s.

Anyhow, I play down to 5 people and another guy and I have the best of it so far. Danneman is still in, the other 5 have been dismissed. Embarrassing isn’t the word for what I do next. Idiotic may be more like it. Nah, actually it was worse than that. I’m BB and UTG raises 4 times the BB, which is a damn healthy raise at this point. Folds around to me, and I look down at A-K suited. The previous two hands had both issued someone A-A, with a K-K added pre-flop in one of the hands and a Q-Q (which was mine) in the first one, so I figure/hope/pray that the odds are that this guy has something between Q-Q and 7-7 or ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL, firing with a steal attempt based on what I had seen him play so far, and basically no chance that an A-A was back pre-flop for a third hand in a row. I make the only play available to a nitwit who is out of his element and subconsciously trying to impress people that couldn’t care less about him. I push ALL-IN. The guy doesn’t blink. Says call before I could say the IN in All-In. I had a bigger stack but not by much as this was the other big stack at the table. You guessed it. Bullets AGAIN. Three hands in a row. Danneman (who I had folded Q-Q to only two hands earlier when HE had the A-A) and a couple of his buddies flip out and berate me in front of everyone at the table (and everyone else within earshot) for what seemed like 10 minutes until I went ahead and lost the rest of my now VERY small “collection” (it could not be defined as a stack at that point) of chips and got out of the Fontana Room as fast as I could.” How could I go All-In with A-K suited? It’s a drawing hand. Why not call the raise and if I hit the flop, bet or try to trap?? What was I thinking??” These and about 500 other remarks were fired at me by Danneman. He was clearly pissed that I had given the other guy a massive chip lead, even though he was friends with the guy. He was right! No doubt about it. Idiot play on my part. Mistake! I knew better, and it was really the only blunder I made in ALL of those SNG’s in my opinion. But to make such a huge error against THAT guy, and to have him beat the hell out of me with people at other tables looking to see what the fuss was about. It makes me sick to think about it now…but you know, that’s why those guys are professionals, and I am an amateur, with a day job. I am going to make errors on occasion, and all I can do is try and learn not to make the error again. That error I can PROMISE the world I will not ever make again…LOL.

Anyway, I leave and play at the VVV in a 5-10 nlhe until who knows when. Make about $2,800, and figure between the SNG profit of $2,100 (since I lost my buy-in on the 5th one with Danneman) and this cash, I would play the Super Satellite that starts at 10pm.

Only about 115 players in the Super, which means 11 seats. Been a long day already, but I am seeking redemption. I play down to three tables, and have a decent stack. Not enough to coast, but sufficient to make it if I am able to just keep the blinds 3 times every two orbits. I get J-J in early position and decide not to get cute with it. Play it slow, willing to let it go to any scare cards on the flop. Not going to get run over like I did earlier in the SNG with Danneman. Flop comes J-K-4 rainbow. I like this hand a lot now for obvious reasons. I bet out a little more than a pot size bet, hoping only to get a Kx calling. Action folds around to a guy in late position who sits and thinks for a long time and pushes all-in. WTF!! He couldn’t have slow played K-K could he in late position? No way, he’s a pro just like everyone else in the room but me. K-4, maybe suited? Yep that’s it. He has two pair, probably suited, I didn’t press my bet with J-J, so I let him in cheap. Only answer. He’s betting out all-in with 2 pair. One of us is going home, and it’s not me. Wait till he sees these babies. I CALL!! Flip them over and it’s unbelievable. He not only doesn’t have a pair, he’s on a draw with Q-10 suited. Open ended straight draw to be precise. Dealer taking his time turning over the Turn Card, the other guy says he didn’t think I would have played J-J or K-K like that, and doubted I even had a K based on my play that he had seen, so he didn’t give me credit for that much and thought he was semi-bluffing with the All-In. He says he never expected me to call him coming over the top of me. He was shaking his head. I had to dodge 8 cards, somebody else says they folded a 9, another guy claims he folded an A-rag. I’m down to dodging 6 cards if they are telling the truth. Turn card hits the felt. And I am TOAST. Damn, poker is a funny game. Highest highs, lowest lows. He hits his straight, I hit the pavement. But I played well, and am convinced I DESERVE to make this Main Event. The poker gods owe it to me. It’s late, need some sleep. Tomorrow is another day!

Friday

Wake up feeling like a truck ran over me. Slam a Diet Mountain Dew and that’s not even helping. Two choices. Haul ass over to the Bellagio and play another Super Satellite, or go play a cash game and try to play the late Super like last night. Hated the late night pressure cooker, only 11 seats in that one. Daytime Super should be bigger, more seats, better shot. Bigger indeed. Over 450 people, can’t remember exact number, but in that ballpark.

So I pay my money and take my shot again. Short timer in this one, last about half way through and I’m done when my A-Q or K (can’t really remember) gets beat by some mid-pair of 5’s or 6’s or 7’s. Who cares…lol…result the same, and I am done with the WPT dream for this year.

Went to the Wynn for cash game and ran over a table like I knew what I was doing. Funny how my cash game, with the exception of the full house running into the quads, worked out so well, while my big plan of winning the WPT Championship fizzled so miserably. Like I said, poker is a funny game. And funnier still is that I am probably a better tournament player than I am a cash player, or so it seems in AC.

Went to Tryst at Wynn late that night. Crazy. Great club if you like clubs. Grabbed a beer walked over to the center of the club, and kind of leaned up against the back of one of the booths. I was standing there about 30 seconds when someone with a camera/phone leaned a little to my left to take a picture. I didn’t turn around as I figured it was just some woman dancing wild or something. About 30 seconds later another person did the same thing. Then another and another. I finally turned around and saw what they were taking pictures of…lol. It was Randy Jackson, Ryan Seacrest, and Simon Cowell (no Paula Abdul) and the big time record producer they always hang with from American Idol fame. Apparently, they are very good friends with the Wynn’s and come there frequently. One of the managers told me they were in town for a charity event sponsored by Mrs. Wynn. They were pretty wide open, drinking and dancing in their little booth area. At one point, one of their entourage had the waitress bring over about 10 bands of $1 bills. $1,000. They guy cut the bands off and proceeded to toss the money into the air. Funny part was nobody in their booth cared to pick it up, and the bouncers weren’t letting anyone into the booth area. So ultimately, the guys with the sweeper pans ended up getting most of it. I say good for them! They needed it more than anyone I saw in there spending $9 for a beer…lol.

Saturday

Now coming to the realization that I am not playing in the WPT Championship. I decided to stroll over to the Bellagio anyway. Lots of people. No way to really see much, as the Fontana Lounge is where they are holding the main event, and they aren’t letting anybody in but a couple of “Card Player magazine type reporters” into the room, aside from the players and Bellagio staff. Still confused as to how you could host a tournament of this caliber in such a pathetic venue as a bar. Surely they have ballrooms in the B. Anyhoooo, I hung around long enough to hear Mike Mattasow get going on somebody. Was pretty funny, he has the same schtick no matter where he plays I guess. Almost identical to what I heard him saying at the Borgata in AC several months ago.

OK, enough lollygagging, time to play. Where to go? Caesars sounds like a plan. Heck, I have time to try their tourney, so that’s the plan for now. I register and sit down to the table. Up rolls a VERY nice older lady in a self propelled wheelchair. She starts talking to me and tells me that she is in a movie about poker that is set to open in May. She then gives everyone at our table a poker chip with “Lucky You” printed on it, which is the name of the movie. She talks about the actors, and tells us about the directors, and that she actually gets to win a hand in the movie, I believe she said against Doyle Brunson, but can’t remember that part for certain. Pretty cool really. This lady is apparently an institution at Caesars Tournaments, and plays there all of the time. If you ever go, it’s likely she will be there according to the dealer I spoke with. She plays well, and doesn’t bluff. If she’s betting, she’s winning (ala Jamie Gold’s WSOP saying). I make it about ¾ of the way through and go out with my set running into a straight. Story of my tournament life in Vegas this trip I guess!

I eventually go back to my room, change, and head back to the Venetian. No question about it, it is my absolute favorite 2-5 and 5-10 nlhe game in Vegas. Kudos to MichaelAVP for directing me there a month ago when I was asking for a good room at those limits. Not a fan of TI, but surely love the VVV. Played until about 2am, scored a couple of big hands, stayed out of trouble with marginal draws. Headed back to my room after a disgusting “steak and eggs” breakfast at Bill’s Casino. Don’t ask, as I have no rational at all for stopping there, except that every time I walked by the sign on the outside of the building I kept telling myself that I wanted to try it once before I left. Once was enough brother, I can guarantee you that….LOL.

Sunday

For reasons unknown, I decide to turn south when I leave the timeshare, and venture back into the MGM. Played against some older guys in a 2-5 nlhe game that was as exciting as watching paint dry. If someone bet out $30 you were in for a 20 minute hand as all these old guys would chirp and moan every turn of the cards. This in itself was bad enough, but lord help you when a bad beat was issued to someone. That was an hour dissertation on everything wrong in that poor bastard’s life including his grandchildren not visiting and his hip needing a replacement. You had to just laugh at them or you would slit your own wrists…lol.

OK, tried that graveyard for a while but never got up or down in several hours. Win a hand, see nothing for an hour, win a hand, see nothing, you know the drill. Basically win your blinds back because everyone folds to anything higher than a Queen on the board…LOL. I probably could of played aggressive and tried to steal blinds, but who cared, there was nothing really going on there on a Sunday afternoon I guess, and I was in need of some real action.

Later I cruise up to the Bellagio, to check out the scene and get a game. Lists for the 2-5 were off the charts, and with all the pros in town who were hanging around the B, I figured it best to avoid the 5-10 nlhe. Probably a prudent decision. So now I walk to Caesars. Nothing there that got my interest. Was determined to play somewhere other than the VVV, so I end up at Wynn after a brief side trip to the Harrah’s Carnival Bar outdoors. Man I love watching those bartenders. Great cheeseburgers there if anyone cares.

Sit down to the 2-5 at Wynn, and notice there’s a guy running over the table. I love these guys. Just sit and wait. Play a few hands out of position with marginal hands. Let him run you out with a big bet after the flop. Just waiting, watching him. Make sure he feels invincible; keep folding to his big bets. Then it hits, I catch AK suited, looking for a shot at a nut flush or maybe even a set of K’s or A’s on the flop (I don’t want much do I? LOL), and I’m in position. Against a guy like this you need a monster, and have to be willing to give up a lot of time and money sometimes to reel him in. Several limpers. I raise 6 times BB, he calls, one other caller. Sure as Hades, it FLOPS my CLUB flush. Have to be cool here. He’s a regular, I’m almost positive he deals poker somewhere in Vegas, he’s running this table, and I’m obviously a tourist. I’ve been talking tourist crap since I sat down, and making it loud enough that he HAD to notice. He bets about a pot sized bet ($100 or so as I recall). I sit there, and look at my cards to give the impression that I raised with a decent pocket pair and was looking to see if either is a club. He bites hard on that one, as I just call. Turn comes a blank. He fires a pot sized bet, about $300. Man is this guy predictable or what? I look at my cards again, just call. He’s got about $1500 left, I have about $500 and I know it’s all going in if I give him a chance. I flat call again. River comes, NO CLUB. He smiles and says ALL-IN. He can’t even get it out of his mouth before I call and flip over the nuts. I love off duty dealers who like to run over tourists! So very predictable, no matter if you are in AC or Vegas. Just have to find one and wait. I fed off of these guys the whole time I was in Vegas.

I play a while longer and decide I’ve had enough fun for one day at the tables. Decided to head back to Light at the Bellagio. Great bar. Lots of wild people. All in all a very nice club if you go in for that sort of thing. Sunday is a big night there for them. And it was crowded until…well I’m not really sure what time I left. But it was fun.

Monday

Here’s an idea. Since the WPT Championship showed me no love, why not try the WSOP Circuit at Caesars for a $500 tourney. If I get ready quickly I will just make it.

Sounded like a good idea at the time. In truth, I should have just taken my money and thrown it into the street. I got involved in a hand VERY early where I had the best of it, played it right, and got beat by a guy that frankly just didn’t know enough to throw away his hand. I didn’t even say a word. Everyone else at the table was busting on this guy, asking him how he could have called the pre flop raise I made, with the cards he held. But you know, it’s his money, they were his cards, and he can play them any way he wants. You beg to run into these guys at a table, because you know you have them dominated before the cards hit the air. There’s no reason to beat them up if they luck out and beat you. And I can assure you, the others at the table were licking their chops, just waiting to get into a hand with this guy…lol. Like Cactus Jack says (I think it’s his saying/tagline anyway), paraphrased…don’t tap on the aquarium and scare the fish.

Well that experiment was short lived. Vegas tourneys are not going too well this trip. My last time out to Vegas I final tabled 3 out of 4 that I played in. This time it’s a rout, with the possible silver lining of my SNG play at the Bellagio, sans the Danneman debacle.

Fearless, I head back to the Wynn. Maybe that guy is there again. Nope. And the tables don’t look like too much is going on, so I walk around for a while and before I know it, I’m in front of Planet Hollywood. Side note: I was in the Aladdin the day before it switched over to the PH. They were giving away the old Aladdin Hats and some other stuff that I got. But back to the action. The poker room had a tournament going on and a table with 1-2 nlhe being spread. I watched for a while, but never really felt like playing. The casino was pretty empty. Eventually I head back out onto the street. I bet the PH Casino is going to be pretty cool once the facelift is finished, but right now it looks kind of closed due to the construction, even though there are HUGE banners/signs on the exterior that say, “OPEN.”

I went into the Paris Casino, and ventured over to their poker room, if you can call it that. Saw a bunch of 19 year olds with fake ID’s playing, and decided to move on. Felt like I have been walking for hours, probably because I had. And I end up back at the VVV and play 5-10 nlhe again. Table has 8, and I sit down. Two hours later the table has 6 left and doesn’t look to be heating up again. Maybe I should leave?

EVERY single time my Spidey senses tells me it’s time to leave a table, and I stay for one more hand or orbit, the result is the same!! Well, maybe I’ll play a couple more hands with these guys. Maybe I wont get crushed by playing another hand THIS TIME.

I’m up about $600 for the session and look down to Q-J suited. I limp in. Turns into a family pot. Flop hits me with a Q and J, but also a 9. This is a pot where anybody could have anything. And a guy who hasn’t played 3 hands in 2 hours has assumed a very aggressive posture post-flop. He bets out $50, I call, two others call. Unreal, still 4 of us in the pot, and I have top two pair. My boy bets out $200, one fold, I call, other guy calls. This is turning into a very interesting pot. Turn is a blank, although it did give someone two to a flush. Big deal, or so I thought. My boy bets out $350, an interesting amount that in hindsight I should have recognized as a value bet I guess, but hell, I still have 4 outs to the nut boat. I call, other guy flat calls. Weird all the way around, unless this guy came in with K-10 and hit his straight on the flop, which is becoming more apparent as the seconds tick by. And I don’t have a clue what the other guy has, but he’s been involved deep in a number of hands and is down a couple grand to the table if my math and memory are remotely correct. River comes the 3rd potential flush card. But who could have stayed in after the flop, thinking about hitting a flush. My boy bets out $500, I am convinced I am beat and lay my two pair down. That was a good bet to get me off of the last card. Other guy raises all in, my boy calls. My boy did have K-10 for the flopped straight. Damn if the 3rd guy didn’t have an A -10 suited and was staying in, he says, on a gutshot straight draw, or to try and make a move on the river. Runner, runner lightning striked and gave him the best of it with the nut flush, on a bluff where he was looking to make a play. Did I say poker was a funny game?? Table broke shortly after. So off I go into the night.

Tuesday

Get up about noon and start thinking about the day. Decided to go to the IP for a burger at the Burger Palace. Don’t ask why, because I don’t know why…lol. But overall it was fine for what it was, and it’s hard not to want to walk though the IP to see the craziness, even if you would NEVER play there. Sat down to play video poker for a while, which my friends had introduced me to the previous week. Silly game for a poker player to try because I’m pretty sure you shouldn’t play it based on the probability of mathematical outcomes like we do in hold-em. The bartender couldn’t get over my not wanting a free beer or drink. He must have asked me 15 times in an hour, I swear it was every 4 minutes…lol. Up about $10 on video poker which was a funny diversion, I must admit. I go over to the cashier, and they pay me out. Felt funny standing in line behind slot players waiting to cash out. Man, I needed to get out of here FAST…lol.

Head over to the VVV. Sit down and play for a bunch of hours. 2-5 game was rolling and my stack moved up and down like a rollercoaster. This was my last day, and I was playing unusually loose for long periods, then very tight. Back and forth. Neither direction really ever doubling me up or felting me. About even, and decide to see if my friend was back at the Wynn, next door.

Nothing happening at the Wynn. Had about 3 on the list for 2-5 so I waited, and waited, and waited, and gave up. These rocks were staying put, and this is my last night in town. Only reasonable move was to go back to MGM’s 2-5 nlhe game which is relatively close to Polo Towers. I played there for several hours, maybe a little longer. Had the kind of hands that keep you OUT of trouble for extended periods of play. I must have seen 3-8, 4-10, 2-7 about 99% of the time…lol. Probably lost $200 in blinds. And can actually say that I don’t recall winning a hand, with the exception of a couple of times where I chopped the blinds. Getting worn out a little. Actually overdosing on poker at this point, and frankly feeling a little down about my tournament play. There’s one place I can always count on to give me a lift in Vegas. So I jump the monorail from MGM to Harrah’s and hang out at the Carnival Bar for a few hours. Hilarious. Tomorrow, a plane takes me back to reality.

Wednesday

Well I guess I could have stayed up all night playing rather than winding down as I did, but all in all, think I made the best move by just walking around a little. Time to catch the plane. I’m headed back to reality.

Summary

For the trip, I figured I had spent about $7,100 in tournament entry fees. A little more than I expected but not out of line for what I was trying to accomplish. Cash games paid off a little better than I expected, but that was because I had more time to play them, given the fact that I didn’t stay in the tournaments very long…lol…about $8,500. Timeshare at Polo Towers for two weeks (even though I didn’t stay quite that long) was $1500 after my friends kicked in a little for the first week while they were there. And food, drinking, clubs, tips (man you tip a lot in Vegas!), and misc. is figured into the Cash Game totals, because I just paid cash the whole time and never really kept track of individual sessions. I would guess it adds another grand or so to the total, but it doesn’t really matter at this point. I had every intention of doing a better job with that, but it seemed like my time in Vegas just moved like a whirlwind and I never took the time to write anything down until this trip report.

Where I played poker:

Aladdin – Hare today, gone tamale as Pedro says at South of the Boarder.
Bellagio – if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all, so I won’t.
Binions – hope these guys find a new owner, very pleasant staff.
Caesars – great room, unbelievable tournament room
Harrah’s – didn’t actually play here, but LOVE the outdoor Carnival Bar
Imperial Palace – worst room in Vegas, but good place to go with your friends after drinking for a $100/man 2-4 limit showdown, even if you suck at Limit Poker, which I do in spades!
Luxor – for when your friends are bugging the hell out of you and you feel like you need to hang with them for a couple of hours, go here to play their low buy in tourney, leave your friends playing the nl $50 max buy-in, and you’ve done your duty.
MGM Grand – never really got into the rhythm of the place, but the marble race tracks aren’t all that bad, and the monorail station is in the back so you can scoot up the strip pretty easy from here if you get bored.
Mirage – pretty dead overall, although it sounds like management has designed it that way on purpose for reasons that escape me, cool tiger, and monorail discount tickets are always handed out just outside their entrance by a couple of girls in stewardess outfits.
Planet Hollywood - nice enough room, they seem to really be trying to get it going, very low limits only and cheaper buy-in tourneys.
Treasure Island – I wasn’t as excited about this spot as some others here, but it may have just been the time of day and cast of characters at my table.
Venetian – the VVVVV is the best of all of the rooms I played. Consistent. Clean. Attractive. Profitable. Really “felt” like a poker room should feel in my opinion. Just muck k-k right out of the gate and you’ll be fine…lol.
Wynn – smaller room, and kind of put in an odd spot, but was well run, and enjoyable atmosphere.

So the bottom line is that I went with a dream of winning the WPT Championship, played most of my hands well, and got to live the poker playing professionals’ lifestyle for a couple of weeks. Not sure I would ever want to do this for a living, but have confidence that I could if I were forced into it. The Venetian had the best 2-5 and 5-10 NLHE games. The Harrah’s outdoor Carnival Bar won hands down for the best bartenders and drinks. The waterfall at the Wynn was the coolest over the top extravaganza “free” show anywhere that I saw, even though the wine was about $20/glass. The Polo Towers VILLAS (not the suites) provided an extraordinary place to stay that was ultra convenient to everything I needed. And the Bellagio, well let’s just say, earned their reputation…and that’s about all I have to say about that.

Kudos and thanks to everyone who contributes on a regular basis to this site. I researched a lot of sites while making my plans for this trip, and can say without hesitation that this is THE premiere site for information regarding the Vegas Poker Scene! Nobody does it better than you guys!